Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Self-Confidence (How to build confidence-overview)

                 Self-Confidence (How to build confidence-overview)


The formula for building confidence, indeed for bringing about any personal change, has five elements. First, develop self-awareness: know yourself, acknowledge that there are aspects
of yourself that you wish to change, and understand what has stopped you feeling confident so far. Then apply the I-T-I-A Formula© (pronounced eye-tea-ah):


- Assert your intention to be confident, and make a commitment.
- Change your thinking. This includes changing restrictive attitudes and beliefs.
- Use your imagination. Imagine yourself as a confident person.
- Act as if you are already confident. The more you speak and behave confidently,
the more confident you will become.


All four parts of the I-T-I-A Formula© are essential, otherwise the change is unlikely to be permanent, or worse, nothing may change at all. If this sounds a little daunting, don’t worry – this entire programme is designed around these five elements – self-awareness, intention, thinking, imagination and acting ‘as if ’. You will be introduced to them in small, practical steps to make it as easy as possible for you. All I ask is that you apply what you learn, stick with it
and be patient. Entrenched habits don’t change overnight. 
"Self-esteem isn’t everything, it’s just that there’s nothing without it--Gloria Steinem"


Step I- Our first step is a simple but necessary one: buy a medium sized notebook. Use it for the written exercises in this programme, also to record your experiences and monitor your progress. Date each entry you make. Your notebook will become a good friend, teacher and confidant, so keep it near you, consult it every day and update it regularly. Commit yourself to spending some time on this programme every day. Just ten minutes a day – reading, learning, thinking, doing etc – adds up to over 60 valuable hours of confidence building activity a year from now. Twenty-five minutes a day builds up to 152 hours in a year – that’s almost a week! Can you think of a better investment for your future?


Step II- What difference would it make to your life if you knew without any doubt that you could achieve anything you set your heart on? If you like jot down a few comments in your notebook.What difference would it make to your life if you knew without any doubt that you could achieve anything you set your heart on? If you like jot down a few comments in your notebook.


Step III- Think about, and if you like write down, what confidence means to you. What do confident people do that unconfident people do not? What would you do differently if you were confident? For example, perhaps you would find it easier to speak up for
yourself, show your emotions, meet new people, or take on more responsibility at work?


Step IV- Write down three beliefs that you hold about yourself which could be limiting your confidence. Now think of three beliefs you would rather have, beliefs that would
empower you and bring confidence. Cross out the limiting beliefs and write these empowering beliefs in their place.
what would you have to do for these new beliefs to come true? 


Step V- Make yourself very comfortable, either sitting or lying down. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and relax. Allow your imagination to flow freely. What would it be like to be
perfectly confident? What difference would it make to your life? Let your mind drift for a few minutes, then open your eyes and write down everything that comes to mind. Keep this list: you have it in your power to experience all this one day. Remember, whatever your
mind can conceive and believe, you can achieve. 
.
Step VI- Commit yourself to behaving more confidently, as from now, even if it feels like an act. Do what actors, musicians, politicians, sports stars and many others do the world over – pretend you’re confident, even if you’re not. For instance, calm your breath, stand upright, look people in the eye and speak with a clear, unwavering tone: you will immediately feel more confident.


Step VII- From now on make this an unshakable rule: stop putting yourself down. Never say anything about yourself, either silently or out loud, that you don’t sincerely want to be or come true.

** Decide right now to treat yourself with love and respect and accept only the best for yourself for the rest of your life. Behind their public personae many well known people, including the most glamorous and esteemed, are desperately shy.
In a radio broadcast Terry O’Neill, the celebrity photographer whose pictures of the rich and famous have adorned glossy magazines all over the world, described the Paramount Studios’ centenary celebrations in Hollywood. A hundred top movie stars were brought together, many of whom wanted to meet Elizabeth Taylor. O’Neill spotted her cowering in a corner, close to the door. ‘I thought, no one’s going near her,’ he said, ‘so, as I’d met her before, I asked if I
could assist her. I pointed out that all those people were here to meet her. She said, “I’m so frightened, Terry. I’ve never seen so many stars in one room.” She was star struck – they all were! Then she asked me to introduce her to Robert de Niro. I didn’t know him, but I took her over, and it was amazing. It was like seeing two stumbling children talking with each other.’**


** Source--- 365 steps for self-confidence by David Lawrence Preston ** 
** Last word-- If u act confident, you  will feel confident**
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Saturday, March 6, 2010

RECOGNIZING STRESS AND ITS EFFECTS

                                     RECOGNIZING STRESS AND ITS EFFECTS


Physical effects of stress
Stress arises when a real or perceived threat triggers a physical alarm response in us. The endocrine system, which governs the stress response, stimulates  our adrenal, pituitary and hypothalamus glands to release hormones (adrenaline, noradrenaline, cortisol, testosterone and thyroxin) into the bloodstream. These  stimulate us into action, mobilising our strength, speed and stamina in the following ways – many of which you’re bound to recognize from your own experience of being stressed: • Blood flow is instantly directed away from the skin, digestive tract, kidneys, liver and immune system, towards the brain, heart and muscles.
 • The heart beats faster, pumping more blood to muscles. 
• Blood pressure rises.
• Muscles tense up, ready for action.
• Breathing becomes fast and shallow, to increase oxygen intake.
• Pupils dilate, taking in more light.
• The liver releases stored sugar – levels of sugar, fat and cholesterol rise in the bloodstream, providing extra energy.
• Levels of platelets and blood clotting agents increase in the blood, to protect from excess bleeding in case of injury.
• Perspiration increases.
As you can imagine from this list, prolonged stress takes a considerable toll on the body. 


How to measure my own stress levels?
The more something changes your life, the more stressful it’s likely to be. Some student stressors are listed below (on a life change scale of 0–100):
• Death of close relation (63) or friend (37)
• Illness/injury to self (53) or family (44)
• Cohabitation (50)
• Splitting up (65)
• Getting back together (45)
• Pregnancy (44)
• Sexual problems (39)
• Large loan (31)
• Outstanding personal achievement (28)
• End of school (26)
• Change in living conditions (25)
• Change in personal habits (e.g. more/less exercise) (24)
• Change in working hours/conditions (20)
• Moving house (20)
• Change of educational establishment (20)
• Change in recreation (19)
• Change in social activities (18)
• Change in sleeping habits (16)
• Holidays (13)
• Christmas (12)
• Minor violations of law (11)
Stress scores between 100–199 indicate a mild life crisis;between 200–299: moderate life crisis; 300 upwards: major life crisis. That’s without exams. Adapted from Holmes, R.H. and Rahe, R.H. (1967) Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 11.


Other effects of stress
So much for the physical effects of stress. Here’s how it manifests
itself in students’ work:
• Performance below par
• Muddleheadedness
• Exhaustion
• Depression
• Aggression
• Agitation
• Disorganisation
• Procrastination
• Forgetfulness
• Being persistently late
• Making up excuses
• Missing lectures, tutorials and deadlines
• Socialising too much


Misinterpretations of stress
As stress signals go, many of these are fairly discreet. Many can be mistaken for laziness. Consequently, students who fail to meet targets are commonly told, somewhat unimaginatively, to ‘get their act together’ or ‘pull their finger out’. They may even be the first to chastise themselves. Unfortunately, self-condemnation 
 tends to make us less likely to tackle a problem constructively. To do so, most students need to talk to someone and get help. Yet, very few students admit they  have a problem. Most suffer in silence. There’s a very good reason for this. As children, many students were routinely praised for being right, and blamed for .Why students being wrong. Success was rewarded with a pat on the back; failure,  with a sharp rebuff. When this happens to children, they very quickly put two 
 and two together and equate making mistakes with being bad. In order to gain love and acceptance from their family, teachers and peers, they learn to hide their weaknesses. They may even lie and cheat in order not to get found out. Although it’s an enormous effort for them, they usually manage to hand in their work and keep up with their course, albeit in a chaotic fashion. Then, there are students who cover up their problems so well that everyone thinks they’re terrific. The admiration they receive from others prevents them from fulfilling their true potential: the more they are praised, the more trapped they become. Once people learn
to present a polished mask to the world, it becomes very difficult for them to seek help. The mask may come to feel like an integral component of their identity; they may lose any awareness that they are stressed. Apart from spending too much time alone in libraries or at the computer, tell-tale signs are usually psychosomatic:
• Asthma
• Skin complaints
• Recurring bouts of ill health
• Stomach problems
• Bowel problems
• Muscular pains such as back pain
• Eating disorders
• Oversleeping (an escape from the difficulty of being awake)
• Insomnia
• Panic attacks
• Frequent accidents
• Hyperactivity or exhaustion
• Vomiting.

Stress Relievers:
Regarding natural stress relievers, i have already discussed in previous posts. Click here . Out of all, autogenics, is the best tool i have ever found. It takes a bit time to master, but when its done, its positive impacts are countless.


Conclusion: Therefore, its very necessary to catch or recognize the stress at proper time and act immediately before it grows and turns to mental or physical or psychosomatic illness.

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