Saturday, July 28, 2007

Tips For Having Interesting, Dynamic, Impressive And Meaningful Conversations !!

Communication makes society progress, grow, and change. From the time man was created to this day, he has been struggling to perfect this skill. Gone are the days of drawing on rocks, flickering fingers, and grunting sounds.
These days, we can communicate in many different ways. We are no longer confined to just the spoken word. Because of the conception of mail, the manner in which human beings communicate has grown by leaps and bounds. Today, the most common form of communication is done via the Internet. Email, blogging, chatting are only some of the many popular forms of communication. How then in this new technological world can a person still have interesting, meaningful, face-to-face conversations? Below are 4 easy tips to help any person have great and substantial conversations.
1. Be interesting
For your conversation to be interesting, you have to be interesting yourself. What does this mean? Being interesting is such a subjective thing. Well, actually, this is a simple thing to achieve. Being up-to-date is one way to be interesting. Ever
yone loves someone who has something substantial to say because he or she is aware of what is happening around the world. Watch TV, read the newspapers, keep abreast of current events. There are so many things going on around the world that are worth paying attention to. Another way to keep things interesting is to be involved. Join chat groups, or even face-to-face organizations. Stand up for something, even if it is just one or two things that you really feel passionate about. There is bound to be even a couple of items that you love. Or, if you know you are going to socialize, then be prepared. Make a mental list of the meaty things that can be discussed. Bottom line is, no one likes a hot air balloon. If you are going to talk to people, make sure you know what you are talking about.
2. Be confident
So look, you have done all this research. Perhaps you have even gone out of your way to know other things out of the ordinary. Take shelter or refuge in that. Since you know your stuff, chances are you will not go wrong. Opinions are neither wrong nor right anyway. You just have to confident that what you are discussing with the person or people is something that makes sense and is not just a spur of the moment insight without much research support. 3. Keep smile on your face and sweetness on your voice No one wants to converse at any length, much less have a meaningful conversation with someone who looks grumpy, irritated, or arrogant. Always keep positivism in mind. Remember that even if you aren’t thinking bad thoughts your resting face might not be very approachable or pleasant. One component of interesting and meaningful communication is enjoyment after all. And no one will enjoy the conversation if the person being conversed with is just not great to be around. If this is something difficult for you, then try practicing at home. Talk to yourself in the mirror with a smile on your face. You will be surprised how well this method works in making you a generally more pleasant person to approach and talk to.
4. Be interested in others too
It comes full circle now. Just as you want to be interesting for people, they would like you to be interested as well. The surest way to make the conversation chemistry die is to look, act, and be uninterested in what the other person is saying. This may, at times, be difficult considering not everything a person wants to talk about is necessarily something you would enjoy listening to. But think of it this way, it goes both ways, but the other person was good enough to be attentive to you. A tip for how to make this an easier task is to focus on those things you know well in the conversation and relate to things you know. It is highly improbable that you will find absolutely nothing to comment on during the whole exchange. So, just by looking at these four tips it is easy to see how anyone can have meaningful conversations. And the best part is, you don’t have to spend anything or exert too much effort to have great talks.

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Thursday, July 19, 2007

Disciplining Your children

Since the baby is conceived and begins to grow further in his/her mother’s womb, he/she connects or contacts to his mother in a very special way. Here birthing creates separation. Then after his birth, the child starts a long journey far from his parents. Parents usually teach their child how they can sustain on their own. Children as being individual human being have their own free wish to choose their own field. However, they need to be defendant on their parents on many ways, almost all. This transition or journey from childhood to adulthood is done by everyone, but in our own different ways and patterns. Some people believe that maturation or adolescence process is the timeline to develop one’s individuality and uniqueness which definitely vary from our own parents, the characters being developed or enhanced in this phase can be termed to be “ACQUIRED CHARACTERS” which is not related to any characters that are inherited through our forefathers’ gene.
And some other groups think that growing-up is a fine tuning of morals, beliefs, values and ideology being passed down from generation to generation.

Guiding Morally:
Spiritual, psychological and moral guidance are key ingredients in raising a child from his infant hood to adulthood. Awareness of right or wrong, good or bad is cultivated in the everyday disciplining of any children. When a child lies, his mom or dad scold and take appropriate disciplinary action. The very punishment teaches the child that lying is unacceptable. After that time, he will develop an understanding to always speak the truth.
All children regardless of race, identity, morals, beliefs, community and society is strictly in need of guidance in this modern age more than before, because they have so much temptation placed before them. Various bad habits are imposed on them either from the environment from schools, friends, or home. Due to peer pressure, majority of the youngster feels that he is in the middle of broken bridge as if he doesn’t join the crowd to learn smoking and drinking, he is considered a sissy. Having or not having a girlfriend is another pressure point. Not go for to inappropriate or debilitating behavior is tough during teenage. Yet, you as a parent can pay a major role, if not decisive, role in teaching your kids to resist what is wrong and outright evil. Reason with your kid. Point out to him if he is wading into the cesspool of error. And unless they keep off, it will soon be too late to come out unscathed.
Enduring happiness lies in self-control and in being a master of your emotions and feelings as well as actions. Youth need to know that paradoxically true freedom means the capacity to control oneself in any situation, and not indulge in explosive acts of passion and recklessness that hurt others and often destroy the doer. If youngsters continue their practice of truth, they will meet like-minded friends. Yet, teach them that human relations are transitory. Teach them the law of Newton which is also practicable in any filed and any ways of living as “every action has equal and opposite reactions”: If you do wrong to others that wrong will definitely return back to you.
Indulgence is likes and dislikes make a children slave to his feelings and desires. You are just spoiling him if you say “What would you like to eat? You don’t have to eat if you don’t like it.” The child grows up thinking that so long as his desires are satisfied he will be definitely happy and that the purpose or aim of life is to fulfill desires. Later in life, he would realize that he has been misled; the world out there is different from what he has seen at home. To satisfy one’s every whim is not easy in the world.
Do not pamper children. Give them true freedom by keeping their lives principle to be “SIMPLE LIVING HIGH THINKING “from his childhood.



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Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Anger Management

Anger as Positive energy
“I was angry with my friend I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe; I told it not, my wrath did grow”. –William Blake
“Paradoxically someone had also said: “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” So, how should one deals with emotions like anger, which if expressed wholeheartedly, can have negative implications and if these feelings are suppressed they eat away at us from within?
For every truth, the exact opposite is also a truth and balancing our lives between these paradoxes, is the middle path that spiritual seekers aspire for.
Anger, if it is recognized and acknowledged, can become positive energy to enable us to change the circumstances we are angry about. If we look closely at anger, it usually stems from a deep of hurt or rejection and the wrath is the defense for what is actually a very vulnerable state of mind.
For many years, approx 18 years of my lifetime, I didn’t know how to express anger. In fact, I was not really aware of this eating away at me. When it started surfacing, I found it difficult to deal with this angry and unpleasant person that I now saw myself as. Even today, there is a sense of guilt or venting my feelings one someone else, when I am aware that people are only instruments in the hands of God. I find it difficult to tell someone that what they have just said or done is not acceptable to me, because at some level, I do see that life has put this person into the orbit of my existence to do exactly this. Yet gradually the understanding dawned that if God has ordained someone to do something that is intended to teach me, then why was I not according to myself a similar role in their lives? This really opened up my mind and thereafter it has become so much easier to express my views, and feelings, especially anger.
Feelings can only be expressed, if they are accessed. Feeling emanate from many stimuli but anger arises essentially when we find that we do not get out way. If we have enough sense of ourselves and attach an appropriate value for the way we feel, for what we believe we need, then we do discuss things. Situations get out of control when the people around us are not open to discussion, when they feel insecure in acknowledging our point of view or need.
This is when anger becomes a powerful tool. Through our expression of this we destroy someone’s sense of self so that they give credence to our feelings and need. Depending upon the legitimacy of our view, this is sometimes necessary. It requires courage, thought and wisdom. Anger which is expressed from the gut is not the same as it is being expressed from the heart. This is another dimension of love, emanating from love for yourself and your needs and their validity in the face of denial and rejection, extended as love for other people and their place in our lives, which we do want to keep. If we did not, then we would distance them. This could be a way too. Being detached from achieving what we wanted in the first place, and also our self-image and its projection in any circumstances, is the key to responding appropriately to what the moment demands.
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Saturday, July 7, 2007

Think Critically

LEARN TO THINK CIRITCALLY
Have you ever wondered why in the country of Ethiopia or Ruwanda or Iraq a two-year boy was 'sacrificed'? Why, just why you consider to be Hindu, Muslim , Christian or Indian, American, Russian , Nepali or whatever else you will? Or, for sometime think of something or someone you really believe in. Now ask yourself why and how did your belief come into being?
At some point of time you must wondered why even 'educated' people-poepl with doctrates and hard-to-get-d
egress-fall into ridiculous traps. Why?Possible because during their so-called education they didn't or were not told to ask fundamental queries. They answered questions in school about the lines on the world map separating countries but didn't analyse the hows and whys behind these lines;they mugged up the dates of wars but never pondered about the causes of war,and what they can do to eradicate them if they have to. Even moral values which were earlier cherished in formal education,and are again gaining importance, were more of an imposed drill,or handed down moral platitudes rather than being critical and promoting self-awareness. We've been given our commandments and various do's and don'ts but rarely are the reasons behind them critically discussed.
The modern mind is not trained to think critically and authentically. Our thinking is mechanical and purely functional. Those few original thinkers who still have 'a mind of their own' do so not because of the education they received in school but often, in spite of it. In fact, academic knowledge in schools today are largely superficial, much less a critical and aware outlook towards onself and the world around us. We've harly gone beyond scratching the surface of things. Cliched as it may sound,in countries like India, the education system is still colonial and geared to produce "babus" who are trained to handle files efficiently and not look into or to fundamentally question them. So, our education helps children to grow into unthinking, mechanical workers instead of helping them to develop into individuals with character, strength and independent thinker.
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