Winners Versus Losers

                           Winners versus Losers


**The winner is always part of answer;
* The Loser is always a part of problem.
** The Winner always has a program;
* The Loser always has an excuse.
** The Winner says, "Let me do it for you";
* The Loser says," That is not my job".
** The Winner sees an answer for every problem;
* The Loser sees a problem in every answer.
** Winner says," It may be difficult but it is possible";
* The Loser says," It may be possible but it is too difficult".
** When a Winner makes a mistake, he says," I was wrong";
*  When a Loser makes mistake, he says," It wasn't my fault.
** Winner makes commitments;
* Loser makes promises.
** Winners have dreams;
* Losers have schemes.
** Winners say," I must do something.";
* Losers says," Something must be done".
** Winners are part of the team;
* Losers are apart from the team.
** Winners see the gain;
* Losers see the pain.
** Winners see possibilities;
* Losers see probabilities.
** Winners believe is win/win;
* Losers believe in for them to win, someone has to lose.
** Winners are like a thermostat;
* Losers are like a thermometer.
** Winners choose what they say;
* Losers say what they choose.
** Winners use hard arguments but soft words;
* Losers use soft arguments but hard words.
** Winners follow the phiolosophy of empathy: "Don't do to others what you would not want them to do";
* Losers follow the philosophy:" Do it to others before they do it to you".
** Winners make it happen;
* Losers let it happen.


[Source: YOU CAN WIN--Shiv Khera]


--These are some of the differences in attitude and behaviors of winners and losers. One last word which i have experienced myself personally. If you wanna win, do things which winners do or if you can't do that, just don't do things which losers do....

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Positive Body Language

        Positive Body Language

Till now we have come to know the introduction, properties, benefits and consequences of BODY LANGUAGE. But, from this post, we are going to learn how to apply the techniques detailed in earlier posts and apply them in our day to day life.

The secret to success is to act like you are already a success. Sending out good and positive body language not only describes your personality but also is like having two voices showering praises on your instead of only one. In addition to this, people are always more likely to remember what they see and a few seconds of body movement can be worth an entire interview of words. It is said that "action speaks louder than words" and we have already discussed about this topic in previous posts. But, how does one go about getting better positive body language?

Following are the tips which give a better idea of how to project or sell yourself using posture and expression:

(i) Stand Straight::

Slouching or hunching gives the impression that you have something to hide. Keep your head up and smile as you walk. Relax and let your arms hand at your sides. This walk will give people  the impression that you have nothing to hide and you are used to being listened to.

(ii) Be Animated:

Make use of your hands while you speak. Making hand motions and gestures increases the chances that will concentrate on what you are saying. Being animated also helps someone get excited about a project or story that is being described to them. Excitement spreads, if there is someone to spread it. But be cautious, over using of animation can effect negatively and seems fake.

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Body Language (Part- Xi)

 Body Language (Part Xi-7 Functions of Non-verbal Communication)

In the communication theory seven functions of the non-verbal communication are distinguished:

1) Saying again what has already been expressed in words ( Saying "no" and shaking the head at the same time, giving direction and pointing).

2) Substituting the verbal communication (nodding "yes", shaking "no", questioning facial expression, emblem gestures).

3) Disagreeing with the verbal communication (confirming something but shaking your head hesitantly or shrugging your shoulders).

4) Affectionate (instinctive) support of the spoken word (concerned frown or encouraging pat on the back).

5) Details about the mutual relation (smiling, eye contact, touching, distance, posture).

6) Giving emphasis to the verbal communication (a wagging finger when you express an accusation or reproaching someone with a loud voice and banging on the table angrily).

7) Putting together and managing the verbal communication ( the dots and commas of the spoken sentences: looking at someone and looking away, pauses and supporting hand gestures).

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Motivation for Study

                                                 Motivation for Study

(i) Introduction:

 Motives are mental energy forces. They are the basis of the "mental effort" we put into our work. When they are strongly active you work hard and concentrate easily. When they are inactive, then the task is difficult to get down to and your performance is poor. To illustrate this point, take a simple example of motivation in relation to the need for food. If your need is great, you will be strongly motivated and find yourself unable to think of anything other than food. If, on the other hand, you have just had a meal, your motivation towards the food will be very small, perhaps non-existent, and far from actively searching for food, the thought or sight of it will disinterest or even repel you. Similarly, if you are in great need of sleep, you can't be bothered even to participate in activities which interest you. However, if you have just awakened refreshed, your need for further sleep is much less and you have energy to tackle new problems. These same principles apply to working, thinking, paying attention, learning etc. When you want to work, either because of a pressing need (e.g. just before an examination or from fear of punishment) or because you are interested in the job in hand, your performance will be much better than if you are disinterested and cannot be bothered. The fact that we all work harder and more readily than at others, why we can persist in the face of difficulties, etc. An awareness of the importance of motivation is fundamental to our investigation of "study-methods".

(b) What Motivates Us to Study?

We may well say that when we are discussing the motivation of eating, sleeping and so forth we are talking about “natural processes” for which there must be “natural motives” built into the mind. Surely, however, as “studying” is not the natural process there can be no motives designed to activate the mind towards it. The answer to this problem lies in the fact that many, if not all, motives are capable of adaptation to the circumstances in which they are to be used. The following motives probably play a large part in making us want to study, providing we are reasonably competent to tackle the material involved:

(1) Curiosity, i.e. the natural tendency to want to find out as much as possible about your surroundings;

(2) Ambition, i.e. the sophisticated manifestation of aggression turned not towards other people but towards problems, hurdles, promotion, etc;

(3) Competition, i.e. the desire for self-respect, social acceptance and respect from others by being able to cope with problem and life as well as if not better than they can;

(4) Interest, i.e. the feeling that a subject or problem is worth tackling and overcoming for its own sake;

(5) Self-Preservation, i.e. the need for a qualification to give you a job, money, possessions, etc., which will make life possible and congenial for you later on.

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REIKI -Part III (Chakras)

                                         REIKI -Part III (Chakras)

We understand that our physique or physical framework i.e. our body, as an energy body but not just the combination of muscle and bone. This framework is not as simple as it is seen. There is a complex network within this framework through which the energy flows. This network consists of channels known as nerves, which distribute vital energy to each and every point and part of the body.
Within this complex network, there are some major centres known as energy centres or chakras which helps in the distribution of energy throughout the body. For example, the solar plexus is the energy centre which is called 'Manipura Chakra'. This chakra helps in distributing the energy to the organs around the area of its influence, i.e. liver, pancreas, stomach etc. Hence, this chakra helps in burning the food. Kidneys and the adrenal gland are also associated with this chakra. If this energy centre does not distribute the energy properly, the person may be suffering from digestive related ailment : ingestion.

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Body Language (Part -x)

                                              Body Language (Part -x)

Significance of Communication:

The words we express or vent contribute a very vital role in other's perception for us. To leave a good impression, like in job interview, it is very important for us to know what message our body language is delivering or conveying. There is a very popular quotation also "First Impression is the Last Impression" so to make the first impression, positive we must have to make our body language also positive. The person who  receives our body language signals will have the feeling which is very difficult to describe in words and even more difficult to verify what actually was communicated or expressed.

We say and hear at times like :" I have a gut feeling that he/she doesn't like me" or " I don't think that he is saying truth." These kinds of gut feelings is known as intuition which particularly arise when our subconscious receives body language data which doesn't corresponds or go parallel with the verbal words we received.

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Body Language (Part-ix)

   Body Language: Action Speaks Louder than Words
 

The Use of Body Language:
As man being social animal, we can't live in isolation. We need other people in stages of our life. The moment we come into contact with another person, we start communicating with him/her ( receiving and delivering the messages via verbal and non-verbal means) no matter the communication can be conscious or sub-conscious. In non-verbal especially silent communication tells us about the relationship between people. Often this is more important than getting the content of the message across. The exchange of ideas about this non spoken communication, which tells us something about the relationship between people, is known as meta communication. Actually it communicates about communication.

Only Words are not enough:
While connecting with a person, we also have to make it clear to one another how the content of a spoken message or term needs to be interpreted. For an instance, we do not tell or express one another very easily how we feel about the other person or how the words of a message need to be interpreted. To make the implication of our words apparent, we make use of body language. Body language is the language of body without spoken words and is therefore termed as non-verbal communication. Either we don't communicate with words all the time, but we make use of body language almost all of the time. Like the handicapped who can neither speak nor talk, the only option is body language or gesture. Therefore, in this special case, non-verbal communication is the primary option for them. By this example also we can estimate the importance and necessity of body language.

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Body language (Part-viii: Deceptive Appearance)

Body language (Part-viii: Deceptive Appearance)

Facial Appearance:    When we observe the face of a person, we can determine the ethnic origins, age, gender, jewellery, make-up etc or simply we can see the image that the person wants to project self before others. To make a character judgement from facial structure and appearance only can be superficial. Facial appearance is only one of the wide range of non-verbal gestures that we need to take into consideration.

Generally the expression on a person’s face is the foremost and basic indicator of his/her emotions like happiness, surprise, sadness, anger, fear, disgust and many more. Different types of smile transmit different non-verbal information reflecting the basic personality with respect to his/her body language. Before analyzing someone’s personality through his body language, we must be aware of the fact that some people have cultivated much greater control over their expression than others. These kind of appearance or expression can be deceptive or misleading because they have mastered in hiding the actual or true message for being delivered.

Eye Contact:  Eye contact is one of the most important non-verbal cues as described earlier. We are expected to meet other peoples’ gazes when we communicate. If we fail to do this, we can be interpreted or meant as being deceptive, weak, bored or angry. There are actually complicated rules governing eye behaviour, with much variation on the direction of the gaze and the length of the time you look at someone. For example, you will look less frequently and for shorter periods, if you are lying or it you are embarrassed or if you dislike the person you are talking to. The longer gaze indicates more intimacy and shows a sign of interest and attention. Depending on the context and relationship, it can be friendly, hostile or sexual. While eye contact is supremely important in Western Society you will need to know that in some societies- mostly Asian, for example—it can be embarrassing and intrusive. So, before dealing with personalities from another culture, you must be aware of their background and allow for the differences in their culture.

Voice:  Voice is another reliable indicator of personality, nationality, regional origin, social class, education level, age and gender. Allied to para-language (rate, pitch, stress, intonation) it can carry up to 38 percent of the message conveyed. It also discloses the emotional state of the speaker and conveys attitudes such as sarcasm.

Body/Physique:  Body in general reinforces the face, so that if a face shows dejection the body will tend to droop. This is not surprising, as it is the whole person who is having these feelings. The body often reflects an individual’s self-concept indicating their self-esteem or confidence level.

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Reiki (Part 2-Philosophy)

                                          Reiki (Part 2-Philosophy)
As described in earlier post also, Reiki is not associated with any  material which is visible, nor does it have shape, nor name. There exists one Supreme Being, the Absolute Infinite, a Dynamic Force that governs the world and whole universe. It is an unseen spiritual power that vibrates which is unfathomable, immeasurable, and being a Universal Life force, it is incomprehensible to man. Yet, every single living being is receiving its blessing daily, awake or asleep,
Different teachers and masters call it the Great Spirit; the Universal Life Force; Life Energy because when applied, it visualizes the whole system; Ether Wave because it soothes pain and puts you into deep slumber as if under an anesthetic; and the Cosmic Wave because it radiates vibrations of exultant feeling and lifts you into harmony.
Reiki is a radionic wave like of radio. It could be applied locally or, as in short wave, a distant treatment could also be successfully executed. Reiki does not destroy delicate tissues or nerves, it is absolutely harmless or has got no negative side-effects. It should be applied and used daily as prevention. God gave us hands to use them to apply and heal, to retain physical health and mental balance, to free ourselves from ignorance and live in an enlightened world, to live in harmony with ourselves and others, and love all being.
When these rules are applied daily, the body shall respond and all we wish and desire to attain in this world is within reach---health, happiness and the road to longevity. Being a universal life force, from the Great Diving Spirit, Reiki belongs to all who seek and desire to learn the art of healing.

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Reiki (The Healing Touch)

                                     Reiki (The Healing Touch)
 

Before going through its depth, firstly its very important to know what “REIKI” means. The term Reiki means Universal Life Force Energy. It is defined as the power which acts and lives in all created living matter. That means we all do possess Reiki power inherent within us. Actually, Reiki is made by two parts REI and KI. Rei describes the universal boundless aspect of the energy while Ki stands for the vital life force energy which flows through all living beings. It is one of the highest form of energy in existence. It can be said as the life force.
Reiki is for all people of all religion, gender, caste, tribe, morals and ethics. It doesn’t describe any particular religion of ethical values neither it holds no creed or doctrine. It has nothing to do with spiritualism or the occult in any shape or form.

--Reiki—A Holistic Medicine:
The adjective holistic is derived from the ancient Greek word “holos” which means “whole”. Interest in the holistic approach to medicine was revived in the early 1970s. Holistic Medicine is an alternative medicine technique with natural methods, alternative to a scientific approach that attempts to understand all phenomena including human beings by reducing them to their most basic biological processes. Holistic medicine does not reject or neglect the need for swift and sophisticated medical or surgical actions, but does emphasize health promotion, and patient education. Its objective is somewhat like “Prevention is better than cure”. Apart from relying or depending in modern medicinal tools, holistic medicine welcomes all the techniques which have been developed in various culture in the run of time. Thus, it makes use of a variety of therapeutic approaches. These approaches are termed as ( Alternative Medicine like Homeopathy, Ayurveda,  Acupuncture etc). We have an enormous internal potential which is making us healthy by balancing the aura. Holistic medicine does have many approaches but some major are as follows:
1) Humanistic medicine, which emphasizes the relationship between physicians and patients, and the psychological and spiritual development of both the patient and physician.
2) Psychosomatic medicine, which is concerned with the interdependence and mutual influence of psychological and physical factors.
3) Behavioural medicine, which stresses the psychological and social causes and effects of illness or particular ailment.

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Body Language (Part-VII)

                                Body Language (Part-VII)

Territorial Gestures:
People leaning against objects or other people, claim territorial rights on them, showing thereby their dominance. When a person touches a property, it becomes an extension of his body, thereby staking a claim on it. Lover may have their arms around their beloveds, business executives may place their feet on their desk or lean against their office doorway. A person can intimidate another person by his territory.

Ownership Gestures:
People in high positions use the ownership gesture more frequently. The leg-over-chair gesture signifies the person’s ownership of the particular chair and reflects his easy-going, relaxed and carefree attitude. This may show his lack of concern, when he adopts this gesture in front of a person who is seated before him with a problem. If the chair has no arms, it is quite likely that the person may plant both his feet on the desk, thus claiming ownership.

Mirror Images:
A person with gestures and postures identical to the person with whom he is talking, denotes mutual liking and that he is in agreement with him in matters concerning both. Sometimes, identical gestures reflect a non-verbal challenge. An employee may copy his boss’s gestures to influence a face-to-face encounter, as this puts the boss in a receptive and relaxed frame of mind.

Spatial zones:
Interpersonal space zones have been created by humans to mark and identify specific areas while interacting with or defending themselves against other individuals. The five interpersonal spatial zones, which tend to vary when people from other cultures meet, are:
1. Close intimate zone  (0 inches-6inches)
2. Intimate Zone  (6 in- 1.5 feet)
3. Personal Zone  (1.5 ft- 4 ft)
4. Social Zone  (4ft-12ft)
5. Public Zone  (over 12ft)

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How to Build a Positive Self-Esteem

                                  How To Build A Positive Self-Esteem!

When the matter of developing personality comes, we can never exclude the topic of self-esteem or confidence. According to Oxford Dictionary, Self-esteem is the confidence  in one's own worth or abilities. This is having faith in oneself or on whatever we do. To build a positive self-esteem is very important for total personality development. For an instance, instead we have ocean of knowledge, we know a lot of things but if we do not have self-esteem of self-confidence then we can't express our talents before others, hence it lies dormant inside or within us which is equivalent to nothing or we know nothing. So, what will be the importance of us being knowledgeble or what that kind of wisdom worth? Therefore, to develop our personality as a whole, self-esteem is the inevitable tool. From what i have learnt from Shiv Khera's book entitled " YOU CAN WIN ", i am going to give some keypoints here on how to build a positive self-esteem.

     Initially, I am touched by one saying in this book that "If you want to build a positive self-esteem quickly, one of the fastest way is to do something for those people who can't repay you back in any kind". Or, simply help those people without the expectation of getting anything back for your help. Involve yourself in social works, volunteer for disabled of poor people. Shiv Khera has very nicely described the power of attitude in this book so i experience that building positive self esteem finally leads to positive attitude which in turn make the way for achieving success making you a winner.

Thinking like "this is my life, i will do and can do whatever i like", is one of the phrase which does more damage or bad than good. So, inspite of whatever we are, our position, we shall always making our mind for gaining positive and productive thinking. Helping those who cannot pay you not only makes you feel good internally but also increase your popularity among self. Acutually, in this era, people are running so much for earning money, property that they are forgetting to know who they are indeed. In this race, either they earn money but they are losing the invaluables i.e. their health, relationship, and most importantly internal peace of mind. Diseases like diabetes, hypertension, depression, bipolar, schizophrenia are not only due to genetic transformation but these external causes are also hidden factors. We dont have time to calm our mind by meditating, practicing yoga, exercising. WORK WORK and again WORK. We are ready to take allopathic medications whole life, but we simply forget a simple quote "Prevention is better than cure". I am talking all of these here because all these topics are interlinked or interrelated.

  In his book, Shiv mentions that, there are two kinds of people in this world- givers and takers. "Takers eat well and Givers sleep well".  Please read this quote once more. This has a very powerful meaning and potential. Yes! takers are well eaters. They eat until it burst out from belly but givers on the other hand sleeps with peace and internal freedom. Although, givers can suffer from starvation, they can sleep well, we can join this phrase with the incident of Lord Gautama Buddha. If food, clothes and shealter would be the ultimate power or need of human beings, why did BUDDHA left all of these as he was the prince? He could get whatever he wanted or liked but he had left his kingdom and his new born son for the sake of what? Yah! peace of mind, internal freedom. So, it is verified from here too that how much important internal freedom and internal peace means and how much it is needed for us. Please think about this. Shiv also mentions that givers have high self-esteem, positive attitude, and keen interest in serving the society. As human beings, by nature, we all have the faculty of giving and taking or mutual help. But, a healthy personality with high self-esteem is one that not only has its need to take but also to give. Here is an example from the book "YOU CAN WIN" which really worth a lot.

 A man was washing his new car when his neighbour asked him," When did you get the car?" He replied, "My brother gifted it to me." The neighbour said, " I wish i had a car like that." The man replied," You should wish to have a brother like that." The neighbour's wife was listening to the whole conversation and she interrupted, " I wish i was a brother like that." What a positive way to think!

So, to build personality, internal peace as well as positive self-esteem, the only keypoint is "GIVE SOMETHING FOR WHICH YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO BE PAID". 

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