Body Language (Part III-Gestures)

                              Body Language (Gestures):

Facial expressions and hand gestures-

Our face is the most visually expressive part of our body. There are six universal facial expressions:-Happiness, sadness, surprise, fear, anger and distrust. Each of the expressions is accompanied with a combination of recognisable gestures. After the face, the hands are the most expressive part of our body. We use them to reinforce our speech or on occasions even as its replacement.

Palm Gestures-

(i) Open palm--> The open palm gesture indicates truth, sincerity, trustworthiness and agreement. For example, the palm is held in the air when testifying in a court of law or placed on a Holy Book while bearing witness.

* There are two basic palm positions-the palm facing upward and the palm facing downward. In the upward-facing position, a person may be asking for something, as in the case of a beggar, and in the downward-facing position, he may be trying to hold down or constrain something *

* When a person wishes to be totally sincere and truthful, he hold out one or both palms (exposed) to the other person and conveys his desire to be frank with him *

* A child may hide his palms behind him when he is not telling or hiding something *

* A husband, trying to explain his wife why he was coming so late at night, may either hold his palms together or have them in his pockets; the hidden palms indicating to the wife that he is withholding the truth *

* A sharp salesman, noting a customer's open palm gesture, will understand that the customer is genuinely not interested in his product *

Palm Power Gestures-

There are three main palm command gestures- palm-up, palm-down, palm closed-finger-pointed position.

* The palm-up position signifies submission, a non-threatening gesture. The palm-down position denotes authority and depending upon the relationship between a worker and his senior, the situation could be explosive or just routine. In the palm-closed-finger-pointed position, the speaker compels his listener into submission *

* One of the most irritating and annoying gestures is to see the speaker pointing a finger at you (esp. index finger), and beating, time or punctuating his words with it. A habitual finger pointer, will learn to create a more relaxed attitude, with a positive effect on people, if he only learns to use the palm-up or palm-down positions more often *

Handshakes-

The age old custom of shaking hands, practised even today, involves the interlocking and shaking of the palms. In English-speaking countries, the handshake gesture is used both during initial greeting and when leaving. During such handshakes, the hands are generally pumped five to seven times. While shaking hands, one of the following three basic attitudes is conveyed---> dominance, submission or equality:

* When your palm faces upward, submission is denoted. For an instance, an arthritic patient, being weak, can be submissive; a surgeon, an artist or a musician, wanting to protect his hand, might be submissive too *

* Dominance is conveyed when your palm faces down in the handshake, in relation to the other person's palm *

* Two dominant people shaking hands would like to see the other submissive, hence there is every likelihood of the hands being held in a vice-like grip *

* In order to intimidate the other dominant person, step forward with your left foot as you reach to shake hands, the bringing your right foot forward, place it in his person space, then bring your left foot beside the other foot and shake the person's hand. This allows you to take command, by invading the other person's personal space *

* Most right-handed people are at a disadvantage when they get a dominant handshake, for they have very little manoeuvrable space or flexibility to move within the confines of the handshake, letting the other person gain mastery *

* Another way to dominate the other person, is to grasp the person's hand on top and then shake it, for then your hand, which will be in a palm facing down position, is in a superior position on top of his. This, of course, should be done judiciously and cautiously *

* Though, a handshake is a sign of welcome, sales people are taught that if they initiate the handshake with a buyer on whom they have called without appointment, the result could be negative as the buyer may not want to receive them *

Rubbing Palms Together-

Rubbing the palms together denotes some positive expectations from the doer. Foe example, the master of ceremonies or a dice thrower or a magician, rubs his palms in anticipation of something positive.

* The speed at which a person rubs his palms together suggests that he expects the other person to benefit. For example if someone goes to a car dealer and describes what he is looking for, the dealer rubs his palms together quickly and says that he has the right car for him. The signal here is that the dealer expects the buyer to benefit *

* If you rub your palms very slowly, then the message the other person gets is that you are crafty or devious and applied to the car dealer-buyer example, the buyer would think that he is not going to benefit and that the dealer would be benefiting himself *

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Body Language (Part II)

--Role of voice in body language--
Apart from expressions which are visual, intonation or voice also plays an important role in body language. The words that we use to convey a message can be given additional emphasis by the tone of our voice. The tone will convey to the receiver what he should know about the way-the message needs to be inferred. For instance, a question such as ' Before now why have you not told me this?' can be conveyed in a variety of ways by using different kinds of intonations. Through our tones, we can enhance the message with expressions such as anger, disappointment, dislike, enjoyment or happiness added to the actual words. When we talk on the phone, we can not make use of body signals or gestures as the receiver cannot see our body language and therefore we often compensate for that by placing more stress on the way we use the intonations in our voice.

Emotional Voice
We can lace our voice with different emotions. When we feel emotional and still want to continue talking, there is a quiver in our voice. The tremble can be a sign of an assortment of emotions and can be considered in different ways by men and women, as well as by each individual. It is important to keep in mind that the situation, as well as gender and culture, can play a role in determining those differences. The whole range of emotions and ways to express them is not only closely related to the intonations in our voice and body language but also to our breathing.

Golden Silence
In the art of communication, silences have a vital role to play. Even when we are silent, we are still communicating! When we convey to the other person depends on the kind of silence it is. Mostly the subject of the conversation plays a major role in this. The time gap in between words provides space for feeling and thinking. The more emotionally loaded a subject is, the more silence is needed. To be silent in company when there is a lot of talking is an art in itself. Many people have this idea that when there is silence it means that there is just nothing more to say. But that is not true. It often means that people are trying to figure our something intuitively about themselves or about the other person(s). Quite often, people notice something about the body language of other(s) and pay attention to that.

Intimate Silences
There are times when people require silence to work out for themselves how intimate they want to be with others. But for more people, when there is lull (temp. quite period) in conversation in a group, they find it hard to handle. They become nervous or they feel tht they have to say something and get embarrassed if they have nothing to add to the conversation at that moment. It is at such moments that we all say strange, stupid or boring things and later wonder at our mental health for saying such stupid things.
People who do not like to talk about a particular topic for whatever reason will use a silence or berak in the conversation to create a diversion by changing the topic. In the therapeutic world, silence are often used to give someone the opportunity to become more aware of themselves or what they have just said. Silence in a group can be an indicator of the level of comfort and intimacy within the group members or it can also indicate distrust. Silences can also make some people feel threatened.

--Body Posture--
Reading a person's body posture can tell us various things about that particular person; the way people hold themselves gives us important information. For instance, when a person is down in the dumps, the information is conveyed by their sagging shoulders and having very little eye contact. The message this gives the world is that they are not interested in their environment or the people in it. On the other hand, a person who walks straight and strides into the room, carries with him the impression of confidence and a positive attitude.
Our body posture often reflects our feelings pretty well. Through our body posture we can also convey our interest and respect for another person. To turn to the person one is talking to, indicates interest in what the person is saying.

Close or Open
A person's body posture can be closed or open. When a person is not feeling ease with someone, he will often assume a closed position, he will possibly cross his arms or legs or will hold an object such as a bag in front as a barrier. The bag and the crossed arms and legs provide barriers and protection at his vulnerability.
Trust has a lot to do with the way a person positions himself in company. It is quite normal to start the acquaintance of someone with a bit of a closed body position until the person establishes some level of trust and comfort that goes with that till he has established a level of intimacy. Trust is established by our body language interactions as well as what we say.

--Kinesica and Neuro Linguistic Programming--
The study of the language of the body is called kinesica. The more recently developed theories on human functioning have given life to Neuro Linguistic Programming (N.L.P). N.L.P uses body language as its main source of information to tell more about the way we operate as people, by ourselves or when we are together.
For instance, we alter the position of our body continually in conjunction with our environment when we are in company or in a public place. Research has shown that we have a higher success rate of getting our message across to another person when we take on a similar position as hi/her. Subconsciously, we replicate the other person's movements like crossing and uncrossing legs, turning our bodies in different directions. This process is called modeling in N.L.P.

Body Movement
Though we are often not cognisant of the body language signals we send out to other people, yet unconsciously we are able to decode the body language of others. We rely on our intuitive feelings with this process of interpreting and reading between the lines of what the other person is saying to us. Movement is also a part of body language. All movements, in our face, with our head, our legs, our feet and all body parts, our gestures, combine to make our body language harmonious. Gestures, combination of a series of smaller body movements can be learned.
For example, when we want to say ok: our thumb and index finger make a circle and our other fingers stretch upwards, while our facial expression compliments what we are signing with this signal. It is often humorous to see the attempts of young children who learn these signals and do not always get them right in their efforts to duplicate their new learning.
When a gesture has different meanings in different societies, it can be amusing as well as a cause for complications. So one should be ware of where and when one is using the gestures.

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