Disciplining Your children

Since the baby is conceived and begins to grow further in his/her mother’s womb, he/she connects or contacts to his mother in a very special way. Here birthing creates separation. Then after his birth, the child starts a long journey far from his parents. Parents usually teach their child how they can sustain on their own. Children as being individual human being have their own free wish to choose their own field. However, they need to be defendant on their parents on many ways, almost all. This transition or journey from childhood to adulthood is done by everyone, but in our own different ways and patterns. Some people believe that maturation or adolescence process is the timeline to develop one’s individuality and uniqueness which definitely vary from our own parents, the characters being developed or enhanced in this phase can be termed to be “ACQUIRED CHARACTERS” which is not related to any characters that are inherited through our forefathers’ gene.
And some other groups think that growing-up is a fine tuning of morals, beliefs, values and ideology being passed down from generation to generation.

Guiding Morally:
Spiritual, psychological and moral guidance are key ingredients in raising a child from his infant hood to adulthood. Awareness of right or wrong, good or bad is cultivated in the everyday disciplining of any children. When a child lies, his mom or dad scold and take appropriate disciplinary action. The very punishment teaches the child that lying is unacceptable. After that time, he will develop an understanding to always speak the truth.
All children regardless of race, identity, morals, beliefs, community and society is strictly in need of guidance in this modern age more than before, because they have so much temptation placed before them. Various bad habits are imposed on them either from the environment from schools, friends, or home. Due to peer pressure, majority of the youngster feels that he is in the middle of broken bridge as if he doesn’t join the crowd to learn smoking and drinking, he is considered a sissy. Having or not having a girlfriend is another pressure point. Not go for to inappropriate or debilitating behavior is tough during teenage. Yet, you as a parent can pay a major role, if not decisive, role in teaching your kids to resist what is wrong and outright evil. Reason with your kid. Point out to him if he is wading into the cesspool of error. And unless they keep off, it will soon be too late to come out unscathed.
Enduring happiness lies in self-control and in being a master of your emotions and feelings as well as actions. Youth need to know that paradoxically true freedom means the capacity to control oneself in any situation, and not indulge in explosive acts of passion and recklessness that hurt others and often destroy the doer. If youngsters continue their practice of truth, they will meet like-minded friends. Yet, teach them that human relations are transitory. Teach them the law of Newton which is also practicable in any filed and any ways of living as “every action has equal and opposite reactions”: If you do wrong to others that wrong will definitely return back to you.
Indulgence is likes and dislikes make a children slave to his feelings and desires. You are just spoiling him if you say “What would you like to eat? You don’t have to eat if you don’t like it.” The child grows up thinking that so long as his desires are satisfied he will be definitely happy and that the purpose or aim of life is to fulfill desires. Later in life, he would realize that he has been misled; the world out there is different from what he has seen at home. To satisfy one’s every whim is not easy in the world.
Do not pamper children. Give them true freedom by keeping their lives principle to be “SIMPLE LIVING HIGH THINKING “from his childhood.

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Anger Management

Anger as Positive energy

“I was angry with my friend I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe; I told it not, my wrath did grow”. –William Blake

“Paradoxically someone had also said: “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” So, how should one deals with emotions like anger, which if expressed wholeheartedly, can have negative implications and if these feelings are suppressed they eat away at us from within?

For every truth, the exact opposite is also a truth and balancing our lives between these paradoxes, is the middle path that spiritual seekers aspire for.

Anger, if it is recognized and acknowledged, can become positive energy to enable us to change the circumstances we are angry about. If we look closely at anger, it usually stems from a deep of hurt or rejection and the wrath is the defense for what is actually a very vulnerable state of mind.

For many years, approx 18 years of my lifetime, I didn’t know how to express anger. In fact, I was not really aware of this eating away at me. When it started surfacing, I found it difficult to deal with this angry and unpleasant person that I now saw myself as. Even today, there is a sense of guilt or venting my feelings one someone else, when I am aware that people are only instruments in the hands of God. I find it difficult to tell someone that what they have just said or done is not acceptable to me, because at some level, I do see that life has put this person into the orbit of my existence to do exactly this. Yet gradually the understanding dawned that if God has ordained someone to do something that is intended to teach me, then why was I not according to myself a similar role in their lives? This really opened up my mind and thereafter it has become so much easier to express my views, and feelings, especially anger.

Feelings can only be expressed, if they are accessed. Feeling emanate from many stimuli but anger arises essentially when we find that we do not get out way. If we have enough sense of ourselves and attach an appropriate value for the way we feel, for what we believe we need, then we do discuss things. Situations get out of control when the people around us are not open to discussion, when they feel insecure in acknowledging our point of view or need.

This is when anger becomes a powerful tool. Through our expression of this we destroy someone’s sense of self so that they give credence to our feelings and need. Depending upon the legitimacy of our view, this is sometimes necessary. It requires courage, thought and wisdom. Anger which is expressed from the gut is not the same as it is being expressed from the heart. This is another dimension of love, emanating from love for yourself and your needs and their validity in the face of denial and rejection, extended as love for other people and their place in our lives, which we do want to keep. If we did not, then we would distance them. This could be a way too. Being detached from achieving what we wanted in the first place, and also our self-image and its projection in any circumstances, is the key to responding appropriately to what the moment demands.

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